reverence-for-fallen-trees submitted:

hey:) hahahah i know this a bit weird, well yeah it is weird. but idk, you know how you wish you could tell your friends and crap about all this stuff but then you realize that your friends are so close to you that you can’t really share this type of stuff? and that your other friends aren’t close enough? yeah…yeah that’s how it is so umm…THANKS FOR READING <3 i guess it’s like a bit of a diary? but that’d be rude to say, so scratch that :P. anyways, as a sort of background, i guess, i’m a sophmore who has never gone out with anyone before, but it’s not a big deal or anything, because most of my friends haven’t either…though they’re starting to, but i mean my school’s really small, and it’s a nerdy school and in my grade there aren’t many asians, and the asian that i liked went and is still going out with my friend so…yeah there’s no one. i usually help ppl that like one another to go out, but i guess i’m just a hypocrite cuz i haven’t done gone out but i’ve read a lot of mangas? yeah…i’m lame, i know. people usually think me as an innocent nice, smart asian that’s super friendly. and in my school everyone knows everyone, so yeah, we’re a family. HOWEVER. there was this guy that i used to like…let’s call him….jun, yeah that sounds good. he’s two years older than me , super duper smart, like top 10 smart, but still super cool and nice, like a kpop idol? idks, but he just like…THE COOLEST PERSON EVER <-understatement. anywho, i didn’t really know him though…the first time i heard of him was from my friend…whom he liked. she thought that he was a bit creepy (but i mean he liked her, and no he didn’t stalk her or anything, she’s just a really shy person). anyways, so i started paying more attention to him from the time when she pointed him out…and then i started to like him (why? i don’t really know…). my friend decided to do something with this weird relationship with me and him that he didn’t even know about, so she decided that if i became friends with the guy she liked (3 years older than us…old? yah i know.) and introduced her, then she would do the same. BUT SHE ACTUALLY DID IT. and while i was embarrassing myself infront of the seniors, she (of course) became good friends with him without any creepiness going on or anything. well, that was just her nature, she could become friends with anyone without getting hated or anything. anyways, well let’s just say that it didn’t go well…he obviously already knew, and that was fine, but then i found out that my friend reminded him of his ex crush that left the school, and there from came a weird nostalgic crush on my friend. hahahah….she didn’t like him. at all. well actually she kind of hated him (why? i don’t know…maybe it’s because he called me creepy? (p.s. there was no sarcasm in that, it was just a not-really-sure statement/quiestion. (p.s. i don’t use sarcasm, and no that was not sarcasm in that non sarcastic sentence)). well anyways, moving on, thereforth came yet another person, in the same grade, but this guy was a bit..mysterious? he was really smart, i mean like, he was a genious. but he wasn’t a nerd, oh nonononono, he looked really laid back and i mean…HIS BACKPACK WAS ALWAYS EMPTY. like no binders or textbooks or anything, and i usually just gaped at it like…HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? i mean, doesn’t his teachers give binder checks? and yet, he was the smartest kid in his grade, probably in the whole school, too. he was a bit of a loner though, i mean he had friends, and yes they were indeed “cool” friends, but he didn’t really talk much and he always kept his thoughts inside. and yet, i always talked to him (more like i went to his locker after the last class every other day because it was on the way down to mine), and then one day his friends started spreading rumors. yes. those stupid rumors…they started teasing him about gettting a girlfriend and then they started following me. no not like stalking stlaking, more like seeing me in the hallways and by my locker and calling my name and running away. it was actually quite funny, i was laughing so hard on the first day that my stomach hurt so bad. however, i didn’t like it. i thought that he spread rumors of me liking him, when at that moment i indeed didn’t, i was still liking jun from before, but then it got cleared afterwards… like during the summer near the start of a new school year…and people were like NO YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE IGNORED HIM. HE LIKED YOU. and then i was like…what? yeah that’s right…even though I’D NEVER ADMIT IT TO ANYONE THAT KNEW OF THIS STORY or actually knew both me and him, yeah i liked him. just an ounce. perhaps more than an ounce…i didn’t really like thinking about it…hahah yeah i know, i’m lame. so anyways, it’s the start of a new school year right? and the freshman class is full of asians, like it looks like some bomb blew off, and instead of fire and such, a bunch of asians came…and yeah, they were cool. my class was pretty lame, and the seniors from last year were really cool, so maybe they were just replacing them? idks, but it didn’t really matter, cuz i don’t like ppl younger than me. i don’t even know why. HOWEVERRRRRRRR, right now (yeps this is present present day now and yeah i know, that was a really long introduction.) i really like this guy, but he’s 6 six years my senior. yeah, he’s a senior in college. but…i don’t know what to do. i mean, i can’t talk to him everyday, nor call him, nor text him, nor keep listening to the songs he records, because i don’t wanna be thought of creepy. and i mean…he’s old…like no offense, and i know that he’s never had a girlfriend and he’s super innocent and cute and all (even though there’s a lot of girls that like him <- argh.) but i don’t think i should convey my feelings to him cuz…then what if he thinks i’m weird and creepy? and just ignores me forever. he’s even told me that he thinks he’s a bad person because he ignored girls that really liked him, and that made him a jerk. (he has super cute thoughts). and i’m just like ….crap. hahahah, that’s it for now! thanks for reading:)

Heymissawesome: Thanks for sharing!