I really need your help. My best friend Hayley has been my best friend since the fourth grade, and since then we’ve done everything together. Weve told eachother our secrets, if we’re mad at eachother, gossiped together, and told eachother everything. This year, a new girl named Jane joined our group of friendship, we turned into the three best friends. Me and Jane have hung out with eachother without Hayley a few times, but Jane is always hanging out with Hayley now and never puts in the effort to hang out with me, like its always her and Jane now. This summer was when me and Hayley had a bump in our friendship. Hayley started to text me with the biggest attitude and id ask her whats wrong and she’d either say “nothing was wrong nothing WAS wrong..” or “why its not like youd care youd tell everyone anyways.”. And once she texted me saying “I think Jane is the only person who wants to be my friend.” but she has no idea how much effort i put into her so that she wont leave me. I always text her first because i guess she doesnt want to talk to me. And once when i was hanging out with Jane, like it was just me and her, she tod me that Hayley had told her “I can make her [me] angry and she wont do anything about it.” and you have no idea how much i wanted to die inside. shes called me an effing idiot, told me to calm down three times over text when trying to help her, and she always uses me. And it made me realize that what she told Jane is sort of true, she can be mean to me and i really wont do anything. But so many times ive wanted to yell at her and make her feel what shes putting me through but i cant because shes my best friend and all of my other friends have best riends already so im just stranded by myself most of the time because Hayley makes no effort to hang out with me. And i know you probably wont respond to this but i just really need happiness and advice right now. I didnt know how to put this anonymously but i really dont want my url to show up so if theres a way you can undo that i would appreciate it so much, but if you cant, i understand.

response:

Dear d-reaming, i think your letting Hayley get in to you too much, letting her affect you so much. I know youre just trying to be a really good friend to her, but it seems like she’s not being a good friend to you. Youre pushing yourself to a person that doesnt even cherish nor give importance to all the effort you put in to save the friendship. you said it yourself, that u have done everything and that youre starting to feel that she’s using you. You’re already aware that Hayley is drifting away from your friendship. I know it’s hard to lose a friend but we just have to accept the fact that friends come and go, and all that can be left behind are the memories you shared with them. It’s rare to find a friend that sticks to the end, but dont worry, you’ll meet that person. Anyways, you need to move on. Coz as i see it hayley has already moved on.and all she does it make you feel bad and stressed. and make you look like you did something wrong. it’s not a healthy relationship. i believe that any relationship that makes you feel bad about yourself…is an unhealthy relationship that we need to get rid of. its your choice:)